Monday, May 3, 2010

My God: The Interweb

Sold my motorcycle over the weekend. One of the three. The best one of the three. 1982 XJ750 Maxim. Sweet bike. Is craigslist the best goddamn place to sell shit in the world or what? No fees, local sales, 4 pictures, you can even get a date!! In less than 20 years we have become so dependant on the internet!  It's just crazy. Try to spend a week without it. You'll stop breathing. Cars come with internet now.  That's a really bad idea but still, it's waaaay cool.  Who wouldn't want that?  It's like asking a teenage boy if he'd like sex with that hand job.  YES is the only answer.

Do you have a question about a movie or TV star? IMDB. Wonder if a word really exists? Dictionary.com. Wanna know about God, a god, all gods, any god or no god at all? Again, seek thy answer on the web. (start with wikipedia and work your way out from there.) Are you looking for a certain lunch box from 1965 with the thermos intact?; eBay. Need a cheap car for your out of work brother? craigslist. Got a strange growth on your back, Web MD. Wondering if your meds are reacting with each other, PDR.net. Point is,.... every answer,.. on the web.

The interweb (my wife hates it when I say it that way, so I keep saying it that way) represents the collected knowledge of mankind with a healthy sprinkling of hokum, hoohaa, hate speech, conspiracy theory and opinions.

Podcasts, YouTube, web radio; new media all. Fresh, funny, musical, media savvy talent from the backyard, the garage, the kid's room upstairs is blossuming like new life in a fertile ocean. And most of all, best of all, in quantities beyond comprehension, there's porn. If you can imagine it, there is somebody on the web who will play with it, insert it, lick it, speak sternly to it, oil it up and offer it a happy ending in somebody else's happy end.

So yes, I am in awe of the web. It is my new god; my only god. It talks to me. It answers me. It provides for me and connects me to the world. Things my old god never did.

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